Executive Coaching: Articles

Difficult People: They're Everywhere

Dealing with Difficult People
September 2006

They’re everywhere. Walk into any workplace and you’ll find them. Regardless of your company’s success or employee-friendly culture, difficult people pose challenges for managers and team leaders each day.

Some are angry; some are anxious. Others are fearful, negative and obstinate. Some spark frequent disputes with their peers. Still others quietly stonewall and fail to follow through on commitments.

You cannot afford to avoid dealing with difficult people. Whether they’re direct reports or peer managers, their frustrating behaviors will take a toll on your ability to manage others and produce stellar results.

The more serious forms of difficult behavior are, in some ways, easier to deal with because they are blatant and often illegal. In cases of harassment, sabotage or physical threats, swiftly follow your clearly outlined company policies and implement the appropriate consequences.

But long before overt infringements arise, there are subtle forms of damaging behaviors that should not be tolerated or allowed to escalate. Confronting and dealing with these sticky situations will prevent more serious problems in the future.

Unfortunately, many managers avoid dealing with difficult people and strong emotions in the workplace. “People problems” are often cited as the most challenging — and time-consuming — part of a manager’s job. One study found that 42 percent of managers’ time is spent on defusing office conflict.

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This is a brief synopsis of an article available for your use in newsletters, websites and blogs for executive and business coaches and consultants, in three lengths: 2,000, 1,000 and 600 words.

The full article contains the following concepts:

The High Costs of Conflict
Three Important Questions
Identify the Problem Behaviors
The Force of Strong Emotions
Handling Difficult Behaviors –
  Step One: Develop a Plan
  Step 2: Invest in Training
  Step 3: Invest in Coaching
What Is Your Part?
A Checklist for the Disciplinary Conversation

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People-Power Your Conferences

How to Get the Most “People-Power” from Your Conference
©2006 Patsi Krakoff, Psy. D.

Most people are required to attend conferences and trade shows at some point during their careers. Attitudes can range from “have to go” to “want to go.”

If you’re an extrovert, chances are you’ll welcome the opportunity to socialize and connect with other people. And if you’re an introvert, you’ll likely struggle to stay focused as you contend with sensory overload.

Regardless of personality type, time spent at a conference is a waste if you fail to remain “plugged in” and follow up with contacts when you return home. It’s not really about the number of business cards you collect or how much you network. Your goal is to develop relationships with potential colleagues and clients.

In today’s fast-paced business environment, social contacts often generate new business opportunities. Once you open up to people and connect, you unleash creative energy and power.

This may happen naturally…or not at all. So, what can you do to pave the way for conference success? Here are some tips for making the most of your experience, maximizing its value through personal contacts.

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Leadership Personality: Do You Have the Right Big 5 Traits?

“Personalities at work are like cars in the city: They often can keep us from our destination.” Pierce J. Howard, The Owner’s Manual for Personality at Work, 2001.

How well do you understand basic personality differences among the people at work? Knowledge of personality structure, dynamics and development is helpful to your:

1. Personal professional development
2. Relationships with associates
3. Relationships with superiors and the organization in general

The bottom line is performance. Whether you are working in a team, leading a department, or selling a service or product, the way you communicate and persuade is critical to your personal success and your company’s overall effectiveness.

If you aspire to climb the leadership ladder, you will need to learn the basics of personality. Without studying for a PhD in psychology, you can gain a firm understanding of your own personality and those with whom you work.

Psychologists now believe that of all the various methods for classifying personality dimensions, only one stands out as the most statistically robust: the Big Five. This means personality factors can be differentiated and distilled into five separate components:

N = Need for stability, negative emotionality, neuroticism
E = Extraversion, positive emotionality, sociability
O = Originality, openness, imagination
A = Agreeableness, accommodation, adaptability
C = Consolidation, conscientiousness, will to achieve, goal-oriented

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The Four Agreements at Work

The Four Agreements at Work:
An Inside Job
©2006 Patsi Krakoff, Psy. D.

In his book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz distills the essence of Toltec wisdom into four principles for living a life of value:

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

How elegantly simple and, as some might say, a “no brainer!” But simple wisdom isn’t common practice. While most of us believe we are impeccable with our word, we know others who are not. And most likely, others, from time to time, consider us far less than impeccable.

The Four Agreements are deceptively simple, yet difficult to apply. With practice, they’re extremely effective, providing a way to experience inner peace and happiness, while creating stronger relationships.

Each agreement is self-directed. It’s not about what you can do to change someone’s behavior. Rather, the guides teach us how to respond appropriately to others’ difficult behaviors and maintain smoother work relationships.

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The full 1000 word article examines how to apply each of these principles at work.

This is a brief synopsis of an article in two versions – 1000 words and 600 words available for use in your newsletters, blogs and web site content.

If you are a regular subscriber to Customized Newsletters and already have an account, no need to order this by using the order links below. Just send me an email to confirm that you wish to use this article for your next newsletter.

All others, please use the order links below.

a. Text, 1000 word article with full reprint rights, $47, click here.

n. Text, 600-700 word nugget, full reprint rights $35, click here.

All word lengths are approximate.
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Once Again, How Do You Motivate People?

(©2006 Patsi  Krakoff, Psy. D. Please contact for permission before republishing on or offline.)

You know you have a talented group of people working for you. You may have personally hired some of them or seen their excellent work in other teams. But all of this talent is meaningless if you cannot raise the bar and motivate people to produce their best work ever, for you and your team, right now.

When people feel inspired to live up to their full potential, companies thrive. There’s a positive shift in the work environment, and the resulting culture boosts morale and productivity.

When you inspire motivation, you’ll see the following advances at work:

• People come up with new ideas about how to solve your company’s most pressing problems.

• People get along well and collaborate in teams to create new ways of doing things that can revolutionize the marketplace for your products and services.

• People work with boundless energy, giving their time, enthusiasm and drive to forward the company mission.

• Even during challenging times, your people remain steadfast and loyal.

• People take pride in their work and feel responsible for the company’s future.

If you’re a manager or team leader whose employees exhibit such behaviors, you work under ideal conditions. When such energy is evident, truly great things can happen.

But what if, like the results of the Gallup Organization’s study of engagement at work, some of your people are not fully dedicated to their jobs? What if one-third of your team members are simply going through the motions, showing up but withholding energy?

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This is a brief synopsis of an article available for purchase for your newsletters and other materials with non-exclusive reprint rights from Customized Newsletter Services.

The full 2000 word article is based on the book Motivating People for Improved Performance, a collection of timely articles from Harvard Management Update and Harvard Management Communication Letter, part of the Results-Driven Manager Series (2005, Harvard Business School Publishing).

Here are the concepts discussed in the full article:

A Paycheck Isn’t Enough
Is Motivation an Inside or Outside Job?
Helping People Find Meaning at Work
8 Career Anchors: What Matters Most
Strengthening Personal Qualities
Fostering Commitment Beyond the Job
Open-Book Management Style
9 Steps to Creating a Great Workplace

This article is available in three versions – long (2000 words), short (1000 words) and nugget (650 words) available for use in your newsletters, blogs and web site content.

Presentation Skills that Persuade and Motivate

Almost everyone feels a bit nervous about delivering a presentation before a group. Some people claim they’d rather undergo a root canal than manage the anxiety associated with  giving a speech.

Follow some basic guidelines for preparation and delivery, and you can transform your nervousness into positive energy that achieves the results you desire.

Giving effective presentations is not something you want to delegate or avoid. Sooner or later, you’ll be called upon to make a presentation to an audience—perhaps your direct reports, other managers, your superiors, customers and/or industry colleagues. Managers who can deliver successful speeches have greater opportunities for career advancement.

Don’t rely on your innate intelligence or charm! Intuition can carry you through many phases of your career, but leaving presentations to chance—or simply winging them—is risky. Your career’s trajectory could be on the line.

The secrets to successful presentations are simple, based on common sense. Many people, however, fail to employ them.

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Information Overload: Taming the Electronic Beasts

This article is based on a great book out about our busy, electronic lives, CrazyBusy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap! by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. It covers the following concepts:

ADD Nation?
Adrenaline Rush
Organizational Deficit Disorder
Human Deficit Disorder
What Leaders Can Do

Many smart leaders are being swept up by today’s frenetic, globalized, technology-driven lifestyle.

We have plunged into a mad rush of activity, aided by high-speed Internet, cell phones, instant messaging, BlackBerries and email 24/7. We work longer hours, with escalating demands.

We expect our brains to keep track of more than they can handle, and then find ourselves losing and forgetting things—impatient, anxious, worried and plagued by short attention spans.

Modern work life, for all of its timesaving conveniences, is sapping our creativity, humanity, joy and, occasionally, our sense of humor. It’s time to stop and look at what’s happening.

The speed of our lives threatens to destroy our most important connections. Unless we deliberately set aside time for what matters most, the quality of our personal and professional lives will erode. When this happens, we find ourselves less energetic, optimistic and enthusiastic than before—and we don’t even know why. We may think we are just too busy or disorganized, or ascribe it to growing older—or simply to life itself.

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This is a brief synopsis of an article available in three versions – long (2000 words), short (1000 words) and nugget (650 words) available for use in your newsletters, blogs and web site content.

Please email Patsi to see how you can use this article in your executive coaching newsletters.

How Much Is Trust Worth?

Trust in senior leadership is worth a half a million. Early today I spotted a great post from Shel Holtz's blog, A Shel of My Former Self about the value placed on trust in senior leadership. Here's an excerpt:

Trust in leadership worth half a million
Posted: 21 May 2006 01:24 AM CDT
in Shel Holtz's blog, A Shel of My Former Self

Regular readers will know that I believe senior leadership communication is a vital element of internal communications at all times, whether significant change is occurring or not. I’ve received two more pieces of evidence to support this notion.

Angela Sinickas  sends along the first in the form of research by Warren Shepell,  a global leader in employee assistance programs. According to the firm’s research, seven things are required for maximizing employee engagement.

At the top of the list, according to the research: “Trust in senior managers.” Trust in supervisors was high up on the list, weighing in at number four. Ranking above that, at number three, though, was, “Understand their organizations’ vision and strategic direction,” just the kind of big-picture issue senior leadership would communicate; supervisors would interpret that information to localize it and help employees understand how those big-picture vision and strategic direction will affect their work.

To read more about the 2nd piece of evidence, visit Shel's blog.

Ready to Snap?

Ready to Snap:

Crazy, Busy, and the Lure of Modern Life

Are you too busy? Are you always in a hurry, juggling work and family tasks like balls in the air? Are you ready to snap?

You’re not alone. Millions of successful adults are being swept up by today’s frenetic, globalized, technology-driven lifestyle. We have plunged into a mad rush of activity, aided by high-speed Internet, cell phones, instant messaging, BlackBerries and email 24/7. We work longer hours, with escalating demands at work and home.

We expect our brains to keep track of more than they can handle and then find ourselves losing and forgetting things—impatient, anxious, worried and plagued by short attention spans. Modern life, for all of its timesaving conveniences, is sapping our creativity, humanity, joy and, occasionally, our sense of humor.

The speed of our lives threatens to destroy our most important connections. Unless you deliberately set aside time for what matters most to you, your connection to it will erode. When it does, you’ll find yourself less energetic, less optimistic, less hopeful, less confident and less enthusiastic than before—and you won’t even know why.

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Here’s what the full article covers:

ADD Nation?

Adrenaline Rush

Organizational Deficit Disorder

Human Deficit Disorder

Solutions – 10 Principles to Follow

This article is based on the excellent book CrazyBusy by Dr. Edward Hallowell, Ballentine Books, 2006.

This is a brief synopsis of an article in two versions – long (1000 words) and short (630 words) available for use in your newsletters, blogs and web site content.

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The Quest for Great Customers

Customer relationship marketing is powerful in theory, but troubled in practice. We need to take time to figure out how and why we are undermining our own best efforts.

Perhaps we’re overlooking the fundamental elements of a good customer relationship program. With the means to connect with customers easily, maybe we’re rushing to cash in on the potential rewards, while forgetting the essentials of all relationships: intimacy and trust.

Close examination reveals that relationships between companies and consumers are suffering. U.S. satisfaction rates are at an all-time low. Complaints, boycotts and growing unhappiness with big corporations are strong indicators that most CRM isn’t working.

Ironically, the very steps marketers are taking to build relationships with customers are often responsible for destroying these connections. Companies may delight in learning more about their customers and providing services to please them, but customers are fed up. They’re tired of irrelevant survey questions, overwhelming product choices, features they’ll never use in phone plans and cars, and rebate-driven buyer reward programs.